Coachella Alternative Looking to Branch Out to Wider Audience with Paloozachella

 In Article, Music

As more people are willing to travel out to the middle of nowhere for weekend long music festivals, it was only a matter of time before concerts similar to Coachella would pop up. The new festival is called Paloozachella and it seeks to garner large audiences, by seeking out a “somewhat more nostalgic appeal.” But putting on a huge music festival without the backing of hipsters is posing quite a challenge.

We caught up with show promoter, Slicky Dee, who filled us in on some of the issues. A self described “Entrepre-bad-ass,” Dee has traveled the country promoting various events from small to large. He promoted the Monster Dump Truck Rally: “Dump n’ Rally.” Not the convention with dump trucks but the convention where you eat lots of Mexican food,take a dump, and then rally for more Mexican food.  His first gig was at Bacon-a-Palooza, not as a promoter rather he played stand up bass in the all bacon themed band The Sizzle Factory.  Which according to him, gave him his “f’n twisted, and gnarly taste in music… and bacon.”

Getty Image: Slicky & Poochy Dee

When asked about the challenges of a promoting a festival Dee lamented, “Well, at first, the idea for Paloozachella was to get these bands out to the desert, but I soon realized that most of them had their cars repossessed years ago.” Dee paused to take a long drag of his E-Cigarette, “I then looked into renting a retired, party bus to get everyone out to the desert. Unfortunately several of the bands have members with ankle bracelets that prohibit them from leaving Van Nuys.”

[irp posts=”7111″ name=”Native Americans Upset at Cultural Appropriation of Paloozachella TeePees”]

Former location of Whole Foods Market

After an exhaustive search to find the right location, willing to host a large gathering not within 100 meters from an elementary school, Slicky Dee stumbled up the right venue. He woke up in an empty parking lot of an abondoned Whole Foods Market. With only weeks to plan before bulldozers show up the venue is set! “Another thing we had to make sure was that the bands still have their instruments. Most of them sold them for rent years ago but luckily the venue is next to a pawn shop we can to hit up right before showtime!”

After 7 Monster Energy drinks, Slicky Dee, gave us this description of the festival:

This is the summer festival to end all festivals. Forget about Coachella and Oldchella and all other ellas.  This is Paloozachella! All you favorite bands under the sunny skies of Van Nuys, California. Except when it’s night time.  There will be so many activities. Take a stroll through Bartertown and pick up some souvenirs. Get your face painted like the Insane Clown Posse. By the actual Posse! Or share a tent with the Spin Doctors (you provide tent).  Win a chance to hang with Kevin Federline simply by using your Uber app. He’ll be your driver! Ever wonder what happened to those chicks who did that one song, lesbians love? They’re there!!! Yoko Ono will be here playing instruments she made out of common household garbage! Two amazing fun filled, non consecutive days! In between days, you can stay at our sponsored hotel, the Comfortable Inn. Or hit up Redskins-Rent-A-Tee-Pee and camp out under a nearby overpass. Environmentally sound water bottles will be provided for urination. Come for your favorite band and stay for the hours of activities! It’s not like you have a job to get back to anyway! See you at PALOOZACHELLA!!!

He then threw up in the lobby of the motel we met at, wiped off his Boondock Saints tee shirt, collected his few, meager belongings and said, “catch you on the flippity flip side.” He stumbled outside, threw on a pair shades emblazoned with the Bank Of America logo on them, and hopped in an old El Camino that had just pulled up.

“Tickets are only $68.95! Just Venmo me your money and I’ll email you a thumbs up, which is your ticket!” -Slicky Dee

We tried reaching him a mere few minutes later to clarify some story details but his phone has been disconnected.


See also: Native Americans Upset Over Cultural Appropriation of Tee Pees


Share and comment below…
Recent Posts

Leave a Comment

Start typing and press Enter to search