Washington, D.C. – Almost a year after the historic 2017 Women’s March, activists gathered in D.C. — and across the U.S. — to march once again. The 2018 Women’s March in D.C. began at 11 a.m. from the National Mall and ended at the White House.
This standard route for D.C. marches usually takes about two hours but the women’s march took most women about five hours to reach their final destination.
Why did it take so long?! Where da hell are these broads?
This question was asked by several hard working roadies, who had spent the morning setting up the stage and now sat waiting quietly, for fear of being accused of catcalling. After about five hours women started to trickle in by the masses but the question still lingered – what took so long?
After an extensive study, researches at M.I.T. finally have the answer. “A handful of shoe stores along the way decided to have an amazing blowout sale,” claimed Dr. Bert Weinhardt, who ran the study, “simple as that.”
I can’t believe it! These peddle pushers are, like, over half-off!
One female marcher gleefully screamed, then spent an extra 30 minutes taking the perfect Instagram photo of her new purchase and said, “my girlfriends are going to be so jealous, especially that bitch Karen!”
Dr. Weindhardt added that the march also took longer because most of the women needed an extra 20 minutes to parallel park while another large percentage of women simply got lost finding the White House.
My stupid husband never asks for directions!
Boasted one lady who was heading down the wrong street. She ultimately decided to catch an Uber to the White House because her, “high heels were killing her,” but she was going to make sure her “husband gave her a foot rub later that night.”