Madison, WI – A 68-year-old man was spotted staring at a rainbow, fondly remembering the time when they were merely spectrums of light, instead of symbols of the LGBTQ+ movement.
He reportedly sighed recalling simpler times, as an 8-year-old, when he and his friends would search for the end of a rainbow in hopes of finding an adorable leprechaun with a pot o’ gold.
“I just want to be able to wear a rainbow shirt without the stigma.” He lamented to a close friend. “I want to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow without getting bedroom eyes from other men. Is that too much to ask for?”
A neighbor revealed that the boomer has many gay friends and simply just, “wants the rainbow back.” As of this report the old man was last seen breaking down in tears while his friend explained to him why he can’t use the word “queer” anymore.