Menlo Park, CA – While announcing that Facebook is rebranding itself as Meta, CEO Mark Zuckerberg had a severe malfunction during the company’s Connect 2021 conference. The streaming event, which has been scrubbed from the internet, showed a nervous, robotic Zuckerberg speaking before the incident occurred.
“Zuckerberg looked weird as hell, so at first I thought everything was normal.” An online viewer explained. “But then when smoke started to come out of his eye balls and his head rotated 360 degrees, I got suspicious.”
“We do not and will not sell your personal data.” Zuckerberg reportedly said right before sparks started to shoot out of his ears. “We own. We own. We own your soul…” According to witnesses, the CEO then began to speak Mandarin right before his face popped off, revealing a cold titanium endoskeleton with glowing red eyes.
“It was absolutely terrifying and made me afraid to ever use social media again! Like this post if you agree!” A concerned woman posted on her Facebook page.
“Mark Zuckerberg is doing great.” A Facebook representative confirmed. “We can also assure you this will never happen again as his endoskeleton is currently being replaced with liquid metal, composed entirely of mimetic polyalloy, which will allow him to shape shift, creating near-perfect mimicry of an actual human being with emotions.”
