Inglewood, CA – As California lifts the mask mandate, Los Angeles County is standing firm and maintaining its strict mandate, which requires every Angleno to wear a mask at all times regardless if they are eating, drinking, showering or dead.
“We want to ensure the safety of all fans against COVID-19 at the Superbowl.” SoFi representative Russ Simons announced. “So we are happy to now offer Modelo Intravenous Drips at the big game! Keep your mask on and get your crunk on!”
The IV Drips will come in only come in one size; 40oz, and unfortunately only one flavor; Modelo.
“We’re also going to be using industrial strength needles to hold the IV Drips in place.” Simons explained. “The last thing we want are needles flying everywhere while you’re trying to enjoy the game. We want our fans to be masked up…but hands free! Both fists ready to rain down massive punches on the person next to them.”
“The IV bags are 100% reusable!” Simons announced. “After you finish your beer, the bags will double as a catheter so you don’t have to get up and pee and miss any part of the game.” Simons then cautioned, “Just be careful not to accidentally drink the urine since it tastes exactly like Modelo.”
