Kenosha, WI – NBA star LeBron James has been unequivocally vindicated as newly released photos show clear evidence that Kyle Rittenhouse had been sucking on Lemonhead candies before he took the stand during his trial.
Rittenhouse, the teen who faces homicide charges, was accused by James of using a lemon-flavored sour confection in order to manufacture fake tears.
“People thought James was just joking.” A photo forensics expert disclosed. “But when you look at the photo on an iPad and use the “pinch-to-zoom” feature, you can clearly see a large box of Lemonhead’s in his breast pocket as well as yellow powdery residue on his lips.”
“Vindacashun iss myne!!!$!” LeBron exclaimed in a Tweet, in which he managed to misspell every single word…including an exclamation point.
“As ya’ll know Im reading Malcome X’s book.” LeBron further elaborated in an Instagram post. “His book is all about how sugary sweets are racists against black people. And how Willy Wonka is no different than David Duke! Candy is the white devil!”
As of this report James was spotted at a CVS purchasing boxes of Lemonheads that he plans to use whenever another NBA player lightly brushes up against him during a game.