Tokyo, Japan – Over the years the Olympic village has been a notorious hotspot for adrenaline fueled athletes to engage in casual sex. This year many athletes were surprised when they arrived in Tokyo to see the absence of condom machines and in place cardboard beds with posters of your ugly ass mom.
“We want to do our best to discourage these horny Olympians and instead focus on the the spirit of the games,” Seiko Hashimoto, the Olympic Committee Head announced at a press conference.”The athletes beds are made out of low-resistance lightweight cardboard designed to avoid intimacy by not supporting the weight of two people.” She added.
“Well, the trouble started when one of the engineers discovered the beds still support up to 400 pounds and another engineer screamed, still not enough to support your fat ass mom!” A source who works in the lab revealed. “That’s when the idea struck to put up a posters of your mom in each room!”
At the press conference Hashimoto explained how they obtained the photo. “We hoped online, hacked into your moms laptop camera and snapped some nudes of her getting out of the shower. She broke the camera but not before we got the perfect shot of her boner-killing body.” She emphatically added. “I showed my husband and his boner still hasn’t recovered! By the way, he told me to tell you that your mom is so ugly she has to trick-or-treat by phone.”
“Oh, God! My eyes! Your mom is so ugly she would make a blind man blink!” A reporter screamed as Hashimoto revealed the photo at the press conference. “Your mom is so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter!” Another reporter angrily added.
As of this report Hashimoto’s husband is still boner free.