Diamond Bar, CA – A small church in suburban Los Angeles has avoided the vicious California mask-mandates by identifying as a prestigious Hollywood awards ceremony.
The current law from LA County’s health officials requires everyone to wear a mask indoors, whether vaccinated or unvaccinated but they recently made exceptions for film, television and music productions.
“One of our parishioners noticed that during this years Emmy’s, which were held indoors, nobody was social distancing or wearing masks,” minister Frank Collins explained. “So, we went to the 99 Cent store and got a few of those fake plastic Oscars that say ‘World’s Best Secretary’ and handed them out during Sunday service! Covid crisis averted!”
The church ran their normal routine in between handing out fake awards.
“Our awards are just like the real Hollywood awards. It’s a reason to get together and praise,” Beth Newhall said while accepting her award for ‘World’s Best Kisser’. “Difference is we praise Jesus and those Hollywood heathens praise the lizard people!”
As of this report, Hal Nelson was being ‘played-off’ by the Church band because his Thank You speech for ‘World’s Biggest Flirt’ was running too long.