Hollywood, CA – After the death of Alex Trebek, Jeopardy! has finally announced their new host– Hologram Tupac Shakur from Coachella 2012. The game show has recently been struggling to find a replacement that wasn’t considered problematic.
“Everyone we hire ends up getting cancelled!” An ABC executive said at a press conference. “Mike Richards turned out to be sexist and Ken Jennings made fun of the disabled. We thought we had it figured out when we hired Miam Bialik. Unfortunately someone reminded us she starred in The Big Bang Theory!”
The lights then went dim as Hologram Tupac strolled out screaming, “Holla if ya’ hear me!”
“What is a Tupac?” One confused reporter was overheard asking.
“Are you concerned about Tupac’s controversial criminal record?” Another reporter noted, “He went to jail for assault and was convicted of first-degree sexual abuse plus he was involved in the shooting of a 6 year old!”
“Yeah, but did he ever star in The Big Bang Theory?” The executive smugly asked. “I don’t think so. And let’s not forget Tupac’s biggest crime…stealing our hearts with his timeless music.“
A few engineers then stepped up to show off the technological bells and whistles.
“Hologram Tupac can’t physically touch anyone because he’s a hologram.” A scientist explained. “We can program him to do anything we want. He can either whip his penis out during commercial breaks or, and I cannot emphasize this enough, NOT whip his penis out!”
The first episode is set to air this Thursday with Tupac scheduled to be cancelled on Friday.