Bel-Air, CA – While most American’s were horrified that someone in Hollywood thought Amy Schumer and Wanda Sykes were funny enough to host the 2022 Academy Awards, Will Smith’s mother is livid that he slapped Chris Rock over a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s bald head.
“I am so sorry for my son’s actions. He got in one little fight and I got scared.” Will Smith’s dementia riddled mother said via a text from her Jitterbug phone.”I don’t care if he’s in his 50’s or has an open marriage with Gordan from Sesame Street, he’s my son and lives by my rules!” She continued. “He’s movin’ in with his Auntie and Uncle from Bel-Air!”
Smith was seen packing up his bags and throwing them in a Yellow Cab that had dice in the mirror, “Parents just don’t understand.” He lamented while Jada berated him for not taking out the trash because her date was coming over.
Since, approximately -0.8% of the American population actually watched the Oscars most everyone else assumed that Smith slapping Rock was a racially motivated hate crime.
One Twitter user expressed: “I thought Will Smith was white so I was shocked to learn that the guy who sang the soulless songs, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It and Just The Two of Us is actually black! I mean, my grandparents love those family friendly songs and they’re whiter than Clint Howard!”