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Supreme Court Nominee Says She Can’t Define The Word ‘5 Dollar Footlong’: “I’m Not A Sandwich Artist.”

Washington, DC – Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson said Tuesday that she could not provide a definition for the word “5 Dollar Footlong.”

Jackson, who appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee, was confused by the question from Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) regarding the popular and affordable hoagie from the chain restaurant Subway.

“Can you provide a definition for the word ‘5 Dollar Footlong’?” Blackburn asked.

“I cannot provide a definition. Because I’m not a Sandwich Artist,” Jackson explained. “Only experts who have gone through the vigorous four-week training program in Subway’s highly competitive culinary arts program are qualified to answer that.”

“So, if you went to Subway and all you had was five bucks how would you order their Footlong?” Blackburn continued to press.

“Senator, with all due respect,” Jackson pushed back. “I prefer Quiznos…Mmmmm toasty!”

When reached for comment Subway Sandwiches CEO, John Chidsey, said that some of their 5 Dollar Footlongs identify as 6 inches.

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