Washington, D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor as said there is no need to rule on the constitutionality of President Biden’s vaccine mandate because everybody is currently dead from COVID-19.
“None of this matters. What are we even doing here?” Justice Sotomayor questioned from the judicial bench. “According to CNN and MSNBC everybody I know and everybody in the world is long dead from this new Omicron variant.”
Justice Clarence Thomas attempted to unsuccessfully talk some sense into Sotomayor and explain that although there have been some deaths, plenty of people are still alive. That’s when she became extremely irate.
“Look! Stephen is dead!” Sotomayor said whilst pointing to 82-year-old Justice Stephen Breyer who was fast asleep and snoring loudly. “If people are dead, who mandates what? And to whom? Our 8 branches of government only work when people are alive!”
The rest of the justices then spent the next 30 minutes trying to explain to Sotomayor that there are only 3 branches of government before tiring out and calling recess for the day. As of this report Sotomayor, the self-proclaimed “wise Latina,” was spotted at a White Castle trying to pay for her meal with an expired Jiffy Lube coupon.