5 Signs That You’ve Been Infected By Monkeypox

Washington, D.C. – According to the CDC, here are the five symptoms to look for to see if you may be suffering from severe Monkypox:

1. You have a strong craving for bananas.
   
   
2. You’re actively flinging feces.
   
   
3. You have a desire to tell Charlton Heston to ‘keep his damn stinking paws off you!‘
   
   
4. You’re currently eating mites from your friends hair.
   
   
5. You’re clinging to the Empire State building swiping at helicopters.

If you have any of these symptoms do not seek medical care. You’re already dead.