Washington, DC – New research released by the Mayo Clinic has confirmed what women have known for years, when a man gets sick he turns into a big baby that needs his mommy.
“This news isn’t shocking.” Confirmed a wife who got COVID the same time as her husband. “Even though I was sick he made me go to his mom’s house and pick up some of her homemade chicken soup because apparently the slop from a can I made just wasn’t cutting it. What a baby!”
“100% of all men studied suffered the same juvenile ailments.” A scientist who analyzed the data explained. “Even men who were asymptomatic immediately began to suck their thumbs and cry as soon as we confirmed they were COVID positive.”
“The current vaccines are useless. So once a man shows any signs, even the sniffles, you must treat them as if you were their mommy.” A doctor recommended on WebMD. “Give him 2 Tylenol chewable’s, 2 Flintstone Vitamins, a few pats on his bottom and put him in a warm bath. Finally, put on a sports game and leave him the hell alone!” The doctor emphatically added. “And whatever you do – don’t talk about your feelings or how he never takes care of you when you’re sick. This will only prolong the problem!”
As of this report several men with COVID were seen sipping on Donald Duck Orange Juice whilst jotting down their last will and testament.
