Compton, LA – Hip hop rapper/producer Dr. Dre, who sold his Beats By Dre to Apple for 3 billion dollars back in 2016, is now selling a whole new kind of beet and other fresh produce every Sunday at the Malibu farmer’s market.
“My divorce took a big hit to my pocket book.” Dre explained before he turned to a customer and smiled. “That’ll be $3.95 you dumb a#$ be-yotch. Thanks for buying BEETs by Dre. Come back soon, ya’ stank a$# ho.”
Dr. Dre’s divorce from Nicole Young reportedly cost him over 100 million dollars. “It got really ugly. Not only did she want all my money.” Dre agonized. “But she even tried to get custody of our son, Eminem.”
An insider close to his new BEETs business venture admitted that they have suffered a few setbacks. “We used to sell veggies at the farmer’s market in Calabasas,” the insider disclosed. “But that came to an end when Dre had to slap a b$%#@ who said the nitrates in his beets failed to boost her immune system.”
As of this report Dr. Dre was spotted in a back-alley bartering beets for weed and screaming, “f$%# the police!” to an 80 year old farmer’s market security guard.
