Beechum County, AL – A southern man was seen scrambling in his kitchen frantically looking for a place to hide his instant grits when his friends popped in for an unexpected visit.
“Oh no! Gotta find a good hiding spot!” He was overheard saying whilst opening and closing various cupboards. “I was born and raised in this small town and if my friends find out that I don’t slow cook my grits I’m going to be in a world of hurt.” He hurriedly explained.
“We take these matters very seriously,” the Beechum sheriff said. “So we have dispatched several officers to the scene to investigate.
A source close to the man surmised that he must have purchased the grits from Amazon because the local Piggly Wiggly supermarket ‘would never stock the instant crap.’
As of this report the man was caught flushing the grits down the toilet while his confused neighbors waited outside holding a homemade rhubarb pie that was getting cold.
