Washington, D.C. – Back from his European trip, President Joe Biden congratulated Glenn Youngkin on defeating Terry McAuliffe and becoming president of the United States, even though he was running for governor of Virginia.
“Congrats to President-Elect Youngkin on his victory!” Biden exclaimed to reporters. “The other lady, Terry, ran a hard race but when it comes down to it, you win them all.”
The president appeared to get testy when a reporter explained that Youngkin was running for Governor and Terry McAuliffe is currently a man.
“Listen, in today’s day and age,” Biden whispered loudly, “you never can tell who’s a gal and who’s a girl. They can swap parts now! Get. With. It. Man. It’s Y2K! What the hell is that smell?”
“The president absolutely did not misspeak.” The White House clarified in an official statement. “He sometimes refers to men as women, governors as presidents and pants as toilets.”
Biden ended his press conference by screaming, “This is a wakeup call to all democrats!” Before falling asleep in the arms of one of his secret service men.
