Washington, D.C. – President Joe Biden made light of his administrations decision to create a $30 million program that would provide crystal methamphetamine and crack cocaine to addicts in an aim to reduce the risk of infections.
“Hey man, my approval rating may be the lowest it’s ever been.” Biden joked at a press conference. “But with the crack-heads, my approval is at an all time high! Get it!?”
The confused reporters stared blankly as the president continued. “C’mon man. Why aren’t you cracking up at that?” Biden yelled then explained the pun. “Ya’ know it’s crack. Get with it!”
“Let’s get serious though.” Biden leveled. “Solving this drug epidemic is a…pipe dream! Is this damn thing on, man? Oh, I get it, you’re okay with alcohol and marijuana jokes. But cocaine is where you draw the line! The line! The rail. C’mon man, get your heads in the snort!”
As the press secretary pulled Biden away he was heard yelling, “What’s white on the outside and whiter on the inside? Hunter’s nose, man!”