Sacrament, CA – During Governor Gavin Newsom’s recent 2 week hiatus, his staff took the liberty of replacing him with one of those plastic decoy owls people use to scare pigeons.
“At first we did it as a joke since they’re both hollow shells.” An anonymous staff member confided.”But then we noticed things started improving. A plastic owl can’t create more regulations or enforce mandates that hurt small businesses. And the best thing was, the owl didn’t smell like Axe Body Spray!”
Californians took notice as a recent poll showed a dramatic improvement in the states morale after the owl held a press conference.
“I turned on the TV and saw a bad-ass owl confidently staring into my soul.” A California resident expressed. “If it were Gavin Newsom he would have spent the first hour of the press conference asking everyone’s pronouns.”
Republicans plan on running the plastic owl as president in 2024 but the owl is facing it’s own uphill battle, as recent unearthed footage shows the owl having dinner indoors with other plastic animals without a mask.
