San Fransisco, CA – The Twitter takeover by tech billionaire Elon Musk has resulted in the firing of hundreds of computer programers who are now searching for another job in the real world. Most employees have gone back home to live with their parents while others been spotted at Starbucks and other fast food restaurants learning how to un-code.
“When people were worried that automation would take away jobs of hard working Americans, I laughed and told them to learn how to code. Boy was I wrong.” Ex-Twitter employee Becky Smith sadly explained while mopping the floor. “I miss shadow-banning conservatives on Twitter. Now the only free speech I censor is removing misogynistic graffiti on the bathroom stalls.”
“When Becky first started working here she kept asking for the WiFi password and screaming something about JavaScript.” A Starbucks manager explained. “After 2 weeks of cleaning toilets she finally forgot everything she knows about software programming.” He proudly added, “Today she’s an expert at changing urinal cakes which requires no computer knowledge. As a matter of fact, it only requires a dish rag and a strong gag-reflex.”
As of this report Becky had also forgot the code that gives you access to unlock the gender-nonbinary bathroom.
