Washington, DC – U.S. Secretary of Transportation and living muppet Pete Buttigieg, was thoroughly confused as to why Americans are upset about high gas prices because his, “Tesla doesn’t even take gas.”
“I spent the last 3 hours looking for a gas tank on my new Tesla,” Buttigieg announced at a press conference. “And I’m here to say; it doesn’t have one! Look, I’m not one to tell American’s how to fuel up their car,” He leveled. “But all you have to do is tell your butler to plug your Tesla into that wall outlet thingy in your four car garage.”
When pressed as to what people should do who don’t have electric vehicles Buttigieg responded: “I understand not everyone has a Tesla. But I have also confirmed that the donkey’s, I assume my cleaning staff uses to get to work, do not run on gas. The crisis is over!”
Buttigieg then spent the remainder of the presser reminding people that if anyone criticizes him, “they are all homophobes.”
