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LGBTQ Releases New Flag With 4.3 Billion Colors To Represent Every Person On The Planet

West Hollywood, CA – We are only 2 weeks into Pride Month and the LGBTQ Flag Committee has already released 14 different variations of the gay pride flag. Each one more inclusive than the other.

“The rainbow flag wasn’t enough because there are so many other groups that need a voice. And in order for them to feel good about themselves they need to be able to look up at a flag and see themselves represented,” the head of the Flag Committee, Lee Stanwall, said in an interview adding, “Just when we think we nailed it, we’d realize we’re missing a group so we’d meet for another re-design.”

“I couldn’t get that flag halfway up the pole before someone started screaming about some non-represented group being left off.” Frustrated maintenance man, Larry Jenkins said, “Yesterday it was non-binary people, today it’s pansexual albino Inuits! My back hurts. I just want to go home.” 

The final design was eventually unveiled this morning to a gathering of a dozen reporters. “We finally have a flag that represents every single person on the planet! With 4.3 billion colors it’s the most inclusiveness inclusivity we’ve ever included!” Stanwall announced as reporters snapped photos and moved in closer to find their pixel.

When asked if the flag also included white cis-gendered males Stanwall proudly said, “No! We’re not that inclusive”


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