The Fourth Of July is around the corner and there is no better way to celebrate our nations independence than by lighting up a Bottle Rocket with
mans persons best friend, your dog.
Dogs are notoriously nervous during this time of year because their sensitive ears don’t mix well with the loud bang of fireworks. But let’s be honest, you need some adorable Instagram pics of you and Fido in front of a few exploding Ground Spinners. So you must take every precaution to keep your doggo safe and sane.
Here are five ways to safely enjoy fireworks with your shnookie wookie:
1. Keep Your Distance: Stand at least 10 feet away as your fur baby lights up that Roman Candle. Sure your dogs safety is important but not before your own safety. Can your dog dial 911 or post to Insta? I don’t think so.
2. Smoking Can Save Lives: Now is a good time to teach your pooch how to smoke. A cigarette is not only a safer way to light a fuse to a Bottle Rocket but your dorky Weiner Dog will look much cooler doing it. Thas’ a good boy!
3. Prepare For The Worst: Keep a bucket of ice ready to dump on anything that catches fire. Pomeranians are adorable but their fur is extremely flammable. One minute she’s innocently lighting a sparkler and the next minute you have a flaming fireball running straight towards you! Pro Tip: The ice bucket is a great place to store your White Claws!
4. Wax It Off: Get your pooch completely waxed from head to tail and have your family and friends get used to your gross bald furless baby. That way if she does catch fire and burn her hair off none will be the wiser.
5. Back Up Dog: If your pup suffers irrevocable damage there’s no need to get the kids more upset. Have that back-up Border Collie tucked away and ready to go. Your kids will be so excited with their new furry friend the vision of Old Buttercup going up in flames will be a distant memory by morning.
Most importantly – Have fun!