Bentonville, AR – Walmart has made a big policy change to their mask mandate, which has nothing to do with the recent uptick in Covid-19 Delta Variant cases.
“One month ago we ended our mask mandate and it was going great, until your mom walked in!” Walmart CEO, Doug McMillon, said at a press conference. “Your mom is a legit double-bagger. She’s so ugly she must wear two masks, in case one falls off!”
McMillon then held up a photo of your mom to a room of gasping reporters. “When we asked your mom to put on a bag over her head she didn’t understand why. And that’s when we realized she’s sooo stupid!” McMillon then waited for a response.
“How stupid is she?” A reporter finally chimed in after a 2 minute pause.
“She’s so stupid she came into our store and asked if we sold airbags because her computer kept crashing!” McMillon blurted to a smattering of groans.
Walmart said they would prefer your mom stay home until Covid “takes her life” but understands that she may have to eventually come in for a new pair of Crocs.
At the time of this report your mom was seen applying lipstick to her forehead because she was trying to make-up her mind.
