Boulder, CO – Susan Lambert was tired of waiting in the long line at the ladies bathroom at her sons high school baseball game so she decided to take matters into her own hands.
“I was angrily staring at the empty line for the men’s bathroom and thought, why is the women’s line always longer? What are we doing differently other than…sitting down when we pee?” She pondered during the 7th inning stretch of a home game, “Then I thought about all the transgender stuff in the news and it hit me. I’m a dude! So I walked straight into the men’s bathroom, saddled up, dropped by panties and proceeded to let it fly straight into the urinal. It was liberating!” She explained to a reporter after the game proudly showing her pee covered boot cut jeans.
Other than a few strange looks from the guys Lambert claimed it was a pleasant experience, “I start hormone therapy next week, followed by gender reassignment surgery so I won’t have to suffer from any more funny looks from muh bro’s.” She added, “Goodbye long bathroom lines and hello to never sitting down to use the bathroom again!”
When asked what she would do if she had go number 2 she responded, “Do guys sit when they do that?” At the time of this report her husband was finalizing the divorce papers and her son was cut from the baseball team.
If you’ve made it this far than you love satire! Please consider following us on Facebook, Twitter or signing up for our upcoming NEWSLETTER.
