Washington, DC – Hunter Biden, the son of United States President Joe Biden, repeatedly called his white attorney the ‘N-word’ in lewd texts found on his laptop. He also kept a racist meme involving former President Barack Obama on his computer. His advisors were quick to say, “there’s nothing wrong with this because Hunter Biden now identifies as a person of color.”
“I’m allowed to say the N-word because I identify as a black man,” Biden said at a recent press conference, adding, “If my dad can be president then I can be anything I want! Now who’s ready for some Hennessy?!” Biden was referencing one of his chats where he used the phrase “Hennessy rates.” He then threw out a bunch of stimulus checks and screamed, “Making it rain!”
The press was thoroughly confused as Biden repeatedly dipped in-between 90s Hip Hop slang and some sort of Rastafarian. “Anyway dawgs. I just don’t want ya’ll to keep dissin’ me. Ya’ know what I’m sayin’? Hey mon. We be smokin’ da’ ganja!”
“Are you doing an impression of Jar Jar Binks?” one reporter timidly asked. “Missa don’t know what you thinking man? Missa getting very angry!” Secret service eventually hauled Biden away from the podium as he kept screaming, “Eff the police!”
