Washington, D.C. – President Joe Biden received a 3,000 gallon Covid-19 vaccine booster shot at the White House just days after booster doses were approved by federal health officials.
“We have to beat the damn thing…and we know these blasted vaccines work. OWWWWW! THAT HURTS!” Biden screamed during his shot.
“I’ve never seen a needle actually go through skin and pop out of the other side,” a surprised nurse, who administered the shot, exclaimed. “It was like putting a toothpick through a wet noodle.”
“He’s got many years to make up for.” The nurse responded when asked why 78-year-old Joe needed such a large dose. The White House estimates that by the time you’re dead your body will be 90% vaccine.
The presidents advisors clarified that most Americans do not require more than 10 gallons of the vaccine but that Biden was making a larger point.
“He is focused on building public confidence that vaccines are safe and effective,” an advisor interjected. “One dose is not enough. You need a second dose. Then we simply ask you get a booster once a month in addition to a vaccine IV drip. It’s the only way we can save lives.”
As the Moderna Vaccine tanker truck was leaving a Pfizer tanker was backing up to top him off.