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New Cast Of The Sex And The City 2 Reboot Is All Male…and Totally Badass!

SAN DIEGO, CA – HBO has confirmed that a reboot of one of their most popular movies, Sex and The City 2, is happening. “It’s an exciting time for Hollywood. Instead of making a quick buck with remakes the old fashioned way, we now make them slightly different by swapping the genders! Then we remake the remakes!” exclaimed Len Amato, president of HBO at a recent Comic Con event. “Even if the product is terrible, nobody will call us out in fear of being labelled a bigot!” he cackled while addressing the panel.  “Ghostbusters,  Ocean’s 8,  Dirty Rotten Scoundrels! Gender swapping is the only way a film can be improved upon!” he continued before someone shut off his microphone. 

The HBO panel then revealed that the Sex and the City 2: Reboot is getting cast with all men. “All dudes! Yes! Finally leveling the gender playing field for us white guys. We have sex too, you know!” said super-fan Earl Boykins during the Q&A session. When asked why they are remaking Part 2 and not Part 1, studio executive Branson Nathaniel said, “because that’s when the sex really gets good!”

The panel ended with an introduction of the amazing all-star cast. The lead role of Harry Bradshaw will be played by comedic powerhouse Ryan Gosling. It was confirmed that the narration scenes will be done shirtless.

Charlie York, will be played Robert Downey Jr. “He’ll be doing the same unintelligible accent he did in Sherlock Holmes,” his publicist’s assistant confirmed.

The lovable ginger, Martin Hobbes will be played by the cuddly ginger from Game of Thrones, Kristofer Hivju, who studied up for the role by doing heroin in a Kansas City loft last February.

And our favorite little scamp, Sam Jones will be played by noted, New York City Lothario Larry David, “Why am I doing this? Did Idris Elba say no?” David recently said at a press junket.

The role of Miss Big will be played by David Duchovny in drag. The production, said they could only gender swap so much.

Filming is scheduled to start after Duchovny undergoes his gender reassignment surgery with a budget of 200 million dollars. HBO confirmed the budget is higher than the original because they have to pay the men 70% more.